Wedding registry, cash funds and thank-you notes: the etiquette, and the tax question

Where the registry goes

On this the guides are unanimous: not on the invitation. Emily Post calls it a no-exceptions rule. The accepted route is to put your wedding website address on the invitation or on an insert, and the registry on the website.

• Emily Post: share it by word of mouth and on your website, where it should not be the most prominent thing on the page. Do not post it on social media.
• The Knot: not on save-the-dates or invitations; an insert with the website link is fine.
• Zola: never mention gifts, cash or the registry on the invitation.
• Shower invitations are the exception. Emily Post says the host may include registry details, because a shower exists for giving gifts.

When to set it up

Asking for cash

It is now ordinary. In The Knot's 2026 Registry Study of 1,759 engaged and married members, three in four couples included a cash fund, and 41% said cash was the gift they wanted most. Couples reported spending 31% of gifted cash on the honeymoon and putting 18% into savings.

• Emily Post: a honeymoon registry is fine. Say how contributions will be used, and keep at least one traditional registry, because some guests are not comfortable giving money.
• Emily Post also warns that some honeymoon registry services take a fee or a percentage of each gift. Check before you choose one.
• Zola: name a specific purpose for each fund, and list some physical gifts at accessible prices alongside it.

How much to register for

• The Knot's rule: twice your guest count, plus a few extras, mostly between $50 and $200 with some above.
• Zola gives two rules in two guides: two to three gifts per guest, or at least one per invited household.
• Emily Post gives no number, only a mix of prices and types.
• These are rules from companies that run registries. The common point is the useful one: spread the prices so every guest finds something comfortable.

What guests give

The Knot's 2024 Guest Study of 1,000 US adults who attended a wedding found the average gift was $150: $160 from close friends, family and the wedding party, and $140 from casual friends.

The one-year myth

The safe reading: three months for everything, sooner for gifts that arrive before the wedding, and on paper.

Writing the notes

• Name the gift and say how you will use it. Three to five sentences is enough.
• For money, say what it will go toward. Emily Post says mentioning the amount is optional; Zola says to mention it.
• Either of you can write, but the note thanks on behalf of both.
• Everyone who contributed to a group gift gets their own note.
• Do not mention that you plan to return a gift.
• Late is better than never. Emily Post: even after your first anniversary, keep writing.
• Record who gave what as each gift arrives. It is the only way the notes get written.

If the wedding is postponed or cancelled

• Postponed: keep the gifts. Emily Post and The Knot both say there is no need to return them.
• Cancelled: The Knot says to return all engagement, shower and wedding gifts that have not been used, with a note. Zola says the same, including money given toward the wedding.
• Some guests will insist you keep the gift. Accept graciously.

Are wedding gifts taxed?

This is general information from IRS pages, not tax advice.

• Receiving a gift: the IRS says property you receive as a gift generally is not included in your income.
• Giving a gift: the giver, not the recipient, is generally responsible for any gift tax. The annual exclusion is $19,000 per recipient for 2025 and 2026, so an ordinary wedding gift is far below it.
• Payment apps: the IRS says money from friends and family as a gift should not be reported on a Form 1099-K and is not taxable income.
• Platforms report on Form 1099-K when payments for goods or services exceed $20,000 in more than 200 transactions, though you may receive one below that, and some states set lower thresholds.
• If a 1099-K arrives for gifts: the IRS says to contact the issuer and ask for a corrected form showing zero, to keep the paperwork, and not to delay filing.

Gift cards and returns

• Federal rules: money on a gift card cannot expire for at least five years from the purchase date or the last time money was added.
• Inactivity fees can only be charged after a year without use, and no more than once a month.
• Returns are set by each store. The FTC notes that many stores stop taking returns after 30 or 90 days, and that without a receipt you should expect store credit. Check return windows before you register.